i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
