don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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