There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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