I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
