I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
