been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
