Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
