You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
