More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
