That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
