she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
