can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
