They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
