it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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