If i come over, it means nothing
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
