wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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