Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize