Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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