He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
