you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
