If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just found puke in my bra..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize