Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
