Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
