oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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