i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
