great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am available for nakedness
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
