My friends, they love my intelligence
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
