Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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