uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
