my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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