yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
