my phone needs a breathalizer
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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