I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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