Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize