my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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