she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
