I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
