I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
