grandma shit on top of the toilet
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize