i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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