they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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