That's intense
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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