I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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