the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
