It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize