She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
