3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
