drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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