??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
