I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
