Can Purell be used as lube?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
