Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you will always have a special place in my vag
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize