i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
