soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
