Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
