ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
