dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
