Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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