Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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