I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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