she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
