I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
