walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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