Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
