they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
