I wish i was in the wii world.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
