You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
