I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
