Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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