There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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