my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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