I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
