great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
