Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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