why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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