I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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