names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
