lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
